Flowers on the Windshield
After more than a year together I knew our marriage wasn’t working. As we had no kids, no communal property to speak of it, and little contention between us, it was a relatively simple divorce. The grounds Alan and I agreed on were irreconcilable differences – which I guess is what most divorces are really about.
Actually, though I said there was little contention, the logistics were actually a bit stressful. It was the late 60s and the American divorce laws were being liberalized, and there was a chance that soon the Mexican divorce I was planning on might no longer be recognized in the States. But after some scrambling to get a timely flight to Juarez, I got down there and the dirty deed was done.
At the time I was working at a school not far from the hospital where Alan was a medical resident. One day about a week or so after the divorce, I left work, headed for the faculty parking lot to get my car, and found a bouquet of tulips under the windshield wipers.
I thought it best to ignore his gesture and I didn’t call him, but after a few more weeks and a few more bouquets waiting for me in the parking lot, I relented and agreed to meet Alan at his apartment.
And so for old time’s sake we gave it another try. But we kept running up against those irreconcilable differences, and eventually we said our last goodbye, and with one last kiss we parted.
But all those flowers on my windshield were really rather sweet, don’t you think?
– Dana Susan Lehrman
Dana Susan LehrmanThis retired librarian loves big city bustle and cozy country weekends, friends and family, good books and theatre, movies and jazz, travel, tennis, Yankee baseball, and writing about life as she sees it on her blog World Thru Brown Eyes!
www.WorldThruBrownEyes.com
It must have been difficult to fly to Mexico to secure that divorce, then keep getting those lovely flowers on your windshield, Dana. Such a lovely gesture. Hard to know what to do; you tried again (hard to resist flowers on a parked car). But those differences really were irreconcilable. I’ve known you a long time, but never knew this chapter. Thanks for sharing it.
Thanx Betsy, it was a trying chapter in my life, but I do remember the good times, and yes the flowers in the parking lot were hard to resist!
Dana, thanks for this story about the end of your “starter marriage” (defined as less than 5 years, no kids). How interesting that you flew to Mexico for your divorce, must have been quite an adventure. Clever of you to turn it into a parking story, since he left flowers on your parked car. I do think the flowers on the windshield were sweet, and I don’t blame you for giving it another try.
Thanx Suzy, yes the flowers were hard to resist, and I’m not sorry I gave it another try, but alas twas not to be!
It must have been hard not to relent with such a sweet gesture. If only it had meant there had been a fundamental change that would last after you tried again. A difficult time I am sure, and good to know you were able to move on in the end, undoubtably wiser.
Thanx Khati, I did move on but not sure how much wiser I am, altho I did learn that a wished-for change is not always in the cards.
Second tries have a very poor track record for me, although I know of two couples who have made them work. A sweet story!
I’m afraid you’re right Dave, changes are hard!