Memories of more than one:
Weddings straight and gay
The first, held in my parents’ home. A blizzard. My husband’s best friend arriving after the ceremony because of it. None of the parents really happy about our marriage or the judge who performed the ceremony. Forced smiles.
The second, in my own home. Marrying a woman with a rabbi this time. A star guest: Christie Hefner who taught me the word “oxymoron” for the first time. Much more fun.
Attending the first same sex wedding that was recognized by the state [Massachusetts] in 2011. Watching two women, one in a long white bridal gown, the other in a bright red Sri Lankan robe, and thinking “this feels different.”
Wondering about a future wedding of my oldest daughter, putting money aside for it. Hoping she has made better choices than I did!
Marci
In four short paragraphs, your memories trace not only your own evolution but also our culture’s in becoming more inclusive. Welcome to Retrospect!
Well done, YOU! It takes time to get it right, and it doesn’t always happen on the first try. I have a dear friend from childhood who was married sixteen years right after high schoo…then divorced and found her true nature AND her soulmate. Theirs was first a civil union in NJ, then a newly legalized wedding just two years ago. Thank you for a well written and concise summation of the ever evolving culture in which we live.
Marci, you cover so much interesting territory here. Christie has been a close friend of mine since we were in the same cabin at camp in 1965, and were the same class at Brandeis. I wonder if you and I know each other?
I did not know Christie. The woman I married, Gail Shister, went to Brandeis and knew her there.
Gail and I were Brandeis classmates, though I did not meet her until years later when I chaired reunions. We sat across from each other at a Christie-organized private dinner. We had a long talk and I drove her to where she was staying that night. I thought she was terrific. Sorry it didn’t work out.
Well, I say that no marriage is wasted if you get good jewelry or children from it. I got both. Our daughter is 30 years old.
Gail retired from the Phila. Inquirer a number of years ago and now teaches in the English dept. at U. of Pennsylvania. We are friends.
Really enjoyed your thumbnail impression/descriptions of a very profound set of transitions. Much appreciated. With so few words, you described Dr. King’s hopeful quote ‘The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.’ All that from a few weddings and yes, it does feel different. Thanks.