V-day Mini Rant by
100
(149 Stories)

Prompted By Valentine's Day

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A saint’s day isn’t an appropriate holiday for nice Jewish girls, mom said.

A saint's day isn't an appropriate holiday for nice Jewish girls, mom said.

In first grade, after I slipped every child a card into their tissue box, so few in mine.

I have never looked good in red.

Single, divorced, broken up, each time trying to ignore the Hallmark ads.

Roses make me sneeze, perfume smells like candy on me, can’t eat cupcakes or drink wine, too few options for gifts from my sweethearts.

This year? Eat a dinner that we cook ourselves. Skip chocolate for dessert.

What Valentine’s gift do I want most? Not to clean up the kitchen.

 

/RetroFlash 100 words

Profile photo of Marian Marian
I have recently retired from a marketing and technical writing and editing career and am thoroughly enjoying writing for myself and others.


Characterizations: been there, funny, moving, right on!, well written

Comments

  1. Suzy says:

    Marian, I love this RetroFlash mini rant! You pack so much into 100 words. I hope you get the gift you want most tomorrow, and you don’t have to clean up the kitchen.

  2. Perfect rant, perfect RetroFlash! I especially like “I have never looked good in red.”

  3. Loved the rant. Since you haven’t provided a photo, I will have to imagine what you would look like as Elvira.

  4. Betsy Pfau says:

    Good to get it off your chest, Marian. And this was a great format for your rant. Clearly Valentine’s Day was not meant for you; I love your comment that you don’t look good in red! And I join with the others and hope you get your wish tomorrow. No cleaning for you1

  5. Rant away Marian!
    When this friggin’ lockdown is over I intend never to cook another friggin’ meal!

  6. Laurie Levy says:

    LOL, Marian. Not cleaning the kitchen (or cooking dinner) would be a treat for me today too. Happy Valentines Day, my friend!

  7. (Trying this for the second time because the site says I wasn’t logged in. But if it came through the first time, you can delete this one.)
    Not only is this a powerful rant but it has great rhythm, with clusters in threes such as “Single, divorced, broken up,” and “Roses make me…perfume smells…, can’t eat cupcakes.” And the short punchy sentences (including the final one) in between the longer ones.
    Hey! Are you spreading a revolt among all the women, taking a collective stand against cooking after the pandemic ends? That’s ok, I’ll just consult my Moosewood.

    • Marian says:

      Thanks, Dale. I believe I’m taking a stand against domesticity in general. I’m lucky in that my partner likes to cook meat, which I have no talent for. I’m tired of all the cleaning and scrubbing.

  8. I’d say that covers it, Marian. And let the damned kitchen clean up its own bleeding heart.

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