Suprise Me

I awoke to a distressing email from my beloved mentor, former Rose Director, Carl Belz. It said something to the effect: “I left quickly for Spain and today my pocket was picked. I have no money. Could you please wire some money to…such and such a number”. The email was sent to a large number… Read More

Note: No children were warped by their exposure to this junk. Read More

If I still was feverish, I couldn't tell once we went outside in the steamy Caribbean. Read More

  The Sister Lottery Just this morning I learned that one of my good friends has an older sister. They’re extremely different, apparently, but mostly their value systems appear to be miles apart. “I just don’t like her and I have no respect for her,” my friend concluded. I couldn’t help but reflect on the… Read More

I. As hippies, we repaired our jeans with patches, braid, embroidery floss. A statement: flower power. Decades later came heavy metal, grunge. Tattered and torn, a statement: fuck you. Now, designer distressed, professionally ripped in all the right places, a statement: I’m with it, at any cost. II. Broken, faded, distressed, frayed. I’m not talking… Read More

Science calls it Iris Recognition technology. Most humans call it looking into the windows of the soul. Read More

The Gurney Like many parents I’m sure,  we made several trips to the ER when our child was young. I remember once when our son was a toddler he split his lip falling in our apartment.  I couldn’t stench the blood and so my husband and I took him to the ER at our local… Read More

To me, football looks like huge men pretending to play tag but actually trying to kill each other. Okay, so I’m not exactly a sports fan. When I dated, I’d get that out of the way early on to avoid disappointment down the line. My husband, Garth, does follow sports, but he’s not a true… Read More

    A Modest Proposal to Address the Problem of Homelessness in the Modern World By Jonathan Swift’s Ghost I am Jonathan Swift, and I have returned from the dead to address the most pressing issue of our time: homelessness. I am not here to offer a serious solution, but rather to satirize the absurdity… Read More

I am so glad I am not in middle school and no longer have to deal with cliques and mean girls. Thank goodness I grew up and survived that phase of life. Read More