Our Garden You, the ruthless pruner, who fears not the bend of limb and tearing of tissue Somehow reflect a greater faith in the Divine plan and the blooming of Life. Me, the timid intruder, who observes and reveres the struggle to survive- Ever too aware of the pain and trials of growth and…
Read More
View January Handl's profile
Our Garden You, the ruthless pruner, who fears not the bend of limb and tearing of tissue Somehow reflect a greater faith in the Divine plan and the blooming of Life. Me, the timid intruder, who observes and reveres the struggle to survive- Ever too aware of the pain and trials of growth and…
Read More
1 Somehow I landed pet sitting/housesitting gig On my river Sweetest of elder dogs A month of easy income And re-focus on my own Life essence in the body Then the world shook With tremors at first Then waves…
Read More
Awaken to the Dream Long before we are birthed to this life, to these bodies, someone dreams us into existence. These ethereal threads that are woven throughout our life hold the patterns, warp and weave of the holy meaning to our days and nights. When the sacred spinning, the endless calling that finally finds voice…
Read More
Blossoming What are you doing, now? He asked me peering up with my line of sight. I am giving the wisteria a standing ovation! As he shakes his head my heart pulls toward admiring the purple tresses of the vine- so stunning, arresting in their delicate…
Read More
I’m a planner. Like to have all Potentialities acknowledged, Surveyed, and appropriate Responses in hand and heart. So growing up I Knew I was a teacher. The evolution of Who I was teaching all Neatly corralled in the Pen of possibility I Keep stocked with vigilance My storybook love With a soul mate,…
Read More
Anne She was a quiet girl, soft of face soft of movement, and her long brown hair often curtained her eyes so as to be soft of broadcasting feelings. Both of us were novitiates to the buzzing tech-worshipping work world where we met. We hit it off, mostly because at age 18, we knew…
Read More
So I am thinking… I need to look at everything in this house that holds 31 years of marriage and two grown children’s archives, and ask this 51 year old almost single self what do you need? Which books of 5 full book cases do you have to have near you? Which wall hanging/photos are…
Read More
General Store Sears and Roebuck The original Amazon The circles of time-periscoping Evolution Of the landmarks of our Consumerist commitment— Beacons that guided Our travels Before GPS White Front To Gemco To Target Rexall To Longs To CVS To Cannabis dispensary Mr. Jordan’s corner tobacco/liquor To 7-11 To million dollar condos …
Read More
My small screen Is a black hole That sucks me into The miasmic plasma Of hidden light, That both connects And separates me To and from others I sense the forever Yearning The existential hole Where we plug in Hoping to feel An integrity That constantly falls Apart, on its way To wholeness My tether…
Read More
Mother Once a Native American man told me that if you lie face down with head pointed north and feet pointed south the earth mother would accept any grief in your heart cleansing you, freeing …
Read More
Releasing Roots I pull out Mama’s earrings From the tangle of jewelry In the re-used coconut butter jar, Gently pressing them Into the ears that She pierced with an icy potato And a thin-pained needle When I was 11 years old. They were her favorites And though she taught me That earrings don’t have to…
Read More
For my mama on her 67th Birthday My Mama taught me When I was 5 weeks old, my father was killed in a car accident, my mama tried not to be sad when she nursed me, so I would not be sad, my mama taught me: Today is the day- to laugh, to learn, to…
Read More
Freedom with a Roof At age 18 in January of our Senior year in high school my boyfriend Mike and I were chomping at the bit to get out on our own. We both grew up in Santa Clara Valley as the orchards were starting to disappear. We both had jobs in the tech industry…
Read More
Strange Fall Other years Autumn Means First the poison oak leaves flame a brilliant red, while the mountain maple blazes yellow. Usually the thrumming cricket chorus thins to a few hardy soloists when the morning and evening’s chill signals winter’s shadow hiding around the slipping sunshine. This year the talk of drought and global…
Read More
The Re-gift I first met Nicki while moving in across the way from her house. Our children were both ready to launch from the nest, and my family was realizing a long held dream of relocating into the mountains. We loved that the house was at the end of a dirt road with…
Read More
I have been given such gifts words choke in my throat as I reach, I stretch, bend and shake toward expressing the utter astonishment the deep wonder the overpowering gratitude at this moment I am awake
Read More
Baby Girl Downstairs in the open loft apartment, I hear above me my daughter and her husband and my new grandbaby having one of those rapturous conversations that involve cooing and squeaks soft-voiced tender words and, sweet giggles and chuckles that wrap the love of the deep presence with and around this moment. That Alive, …
Read More
Grampa’s hands Grampa had sparkly brown eyes that simply shone when he told stories about his postal delivery days, or launched into a dramatic recitation of a favorite poem. He had a full head of hair that he kept neatly trimmed, and he dressed as dapper gentle men of his day did- never…
Read More
My father grew up in a Irish-catholic family of 9, In the city of San Francisco, so his comfort food was usually canned- he would say “creamy” and I would say “mushy.” Later, I would barely recognize the diarrhea green spinach, the small skinless egg potatoes, the orangish spaghetti-Os and pungent Dinty-Moore stew that…
Read More
Co-creation My children birthed me many times through our time together; we have labored over Our relationship Our independence Our interlocked destinies. We have adventured as “family,” fought as friends do, with our least selves held in honor at some core level, while our higher selves offered bridges of joy and…
Read More
Third Grade Move We were late. I was horrified. The kind of fist-in-the-stomach tense that had tears trying to find their way out the burning rims of my eyes. I kept blinking, as we hurried toward the numbered door. Our new home’s construction was delayed and so this September day we had to cross…
Read More
Revising the editor Limits, rules, restrictions, guidelines, walls, trigger my auto-response of arising fierce Kali-spirit that demands the shaking off of the yoke burdening my shoulders, spitting out the bit between my teeth, severing the ball and chain cutting into my ankle, and pulling the barbed wire from around my throat, to run wildly into…
Read More
I keep stumbling over The edge of aging This wrinkled hand This creaking hinge This blank spot In the file cabinet That held the treasures And torments of a life A story That is still unfolding With a few missing Pieces But relentless ticking And the sounding chimes Of a heedless clock A blur…
Read More
My soulmate/boyfriend/future husband and father of my future children worked on me with words until I willingly released the traditions of high school to embrace the rebellion of making different choices. Despite the Gunny-sax hippy dress that was the uniform of proms in those days, that I had shopped with mom and best friend…
Read More
So I am thinking… I need to look at everything in this house that holds 31 years of marriage and two grown children’s archives, and ask this 51 year old almost single self what do you need? Which books of 5 full book cases do you have to have near you? Which wall hanging/photos…
Read More
Without A Word Warm muzzle Cold nose Contented purr Protective bark Joyous wag Tempted twitch Raised eyebrow Leaned into leg Animal aromas Soft fur comfort Welcoming greeting Apprehensive parting Soundless song Intertwined with mine Constant companionship Chores of service Enigmatic puzzles Bewildered apology Comic curiosity Demandless conversation Provocation of patience Eager pleasing…
Read More
“I don’t know what you have experienced to make you “know” but I haven’t, so don’t give me that crap!” My husband was expressing his dismay over my encouragement to keep his heart open to the love that surrounded him, and to remember that the door to his heart opens from the inside. He is…
Read More
Our Garden
Prompted By The Garden
/ Stories
Our Garden You, the ruthless pruner, who fears not the bend of limb and tearing of tissue Somehow reflect a greater faith in the Divine plan and the blooming of Life. Me, the timid intruder, who observes and reveres the struggle to survive- Ever too aware of the pain and trials of growth and…
Read More
2020 in 3 acts
Prompted By Pandemic Summer
/ Stories
1 Somehow I landed pet sitting/housesitting gig On my river Sweetest of elder dogs A month of easy income And re-focus on my own Life essence in the body Then the world shook With tremors at first Then waves…
Read More
Dream time
Prompted By Dreams
/ Stories
Awaken to the Dream Long before we are birthed to this life, to these bodies, someone dreams us into existence. These ethereal threads that are woven throughout our life hold the patterns, warp and weave of the holy meaning to our days and nights. When the sacred spinning, the endless calling that finally finds voice…
Read More
Springtime Blossoming
Prompted By Spring Celebrations
/ Stories
Blossoming What are you doing, now? He asked me peering up with my line of sight. I am giving the wisteria a standing ovation! As he shakes his head my heart pulls toward admiring the purple tresses of the vine- so stunning, arresting in their delicate…
Read More
Retiring Expectations
Prompted By Retirement
/ Stories
I’m a planner. Like to have all Potentialities acknowledged, Surveyed, and appropriate Responses in hand and heart. So growing up I Knew I was a teacher. The evolution of Who I was teaching all Neatly corralled in the Pen of possibility I Keep stocked with vigilance My storybook love With a soul mate,…
Read More
Anne
Prompted By Tracking People Down
/ Stories
Anne She was a quiet girl, soft of face soft of movement, and her long brown hair often curtained her eyes so as to be soft of broadcasting feelings. Both of us were novitiates to the buzzing tech-worshipping work world where we met. We hit it off, mostly because at age 18, we knew…
Read More
A Moving Poem
Prompted By Get Organized
/ Stories
So I am thinking… I need to look at everything in this house that holds 31 years of marriage and two grown children’s archives, and ask this 51 year old almost single self what do you need? Which books of 5 full book cases do you have to have near you? Which wall hanging/photos are…
Read More
General Store
Prompted By Shopping Local
/ Stories
General Store Sears and Roebuck The original Amazon The circles of time-periscoping Evolution Of the landmarks of our Consumerist commitment— Beacons that guided Our travels Before GPS White Front To Gemco To Target Rexall To Longs To CVS To Cannabis dispensary Mr. Jordan’s corner tobacco/liquor To 7-11 To million dollar condos …
Read More
I-pad Magnet or My prayer for Millennials
Prompted By Social Media Friendships
/ Stories
My small screen Is a black hole That sucks me into The miasmic plasma Of hidden light, That both connects And separates me To and from others I sense the forever Yearning The existential hole Where we plug in Hoping to feel An integrity That constantly falls Apart, on its way To wholeness My tether…
Read More
Mother
Prompted By Earth Day
/ Stories
Mother Once a Native American man told me that if you lie face down with head pointed north and feet pointed south the earth mother would accept any grief in your heart cleansing you, freeing …
Read More
Releasing Roots
Prompted By Women We Admire
/ Stories
Releasing Roots I pull out Mama’s earrings From the tangle of jewelry In the re-used coconut butter jar, Gently pressing them Into the ears that She pierced with an icy potato And a thin-pained needle When I was 11 years old. They were her favorites And though she taught me That earrings don’t have to…
Read More
My Mama
Prompted By Women We Admire
/ Stories
For my mama on her 67th Birthday My Mama taught me When I was 5 weeks old, my father was killed in a car accident, my mama tried not to be sad when she nursed me, so I would not be sad, my mama taught me: Today is the day- to laugh, to learn, to…
Read More
Freedom with a Roof
Prompted By My First Apartment
/ Stories
Freedom with a Roof At age 18 in January of our Senior year in high school my boyfriend Mike and I were chomping at the bit to get out on our own. We both grew up in Santa Clara Valley as the orchards were starting to disappear. We both had jobs in the tech industry…
Read More
Strange Fall
Prompted By New Beginnings
/ Stories
Strange Fall Other years Autumn Means First the poison oak leaves flame a brilliant red, while the mountain maple blazes yellow. Usually the thrumming cricket chorus thins to a few hardy soloists when the morning and evening’s chill signals winter’s shadow hiding around the slipping sunshine. This year the talk of drought and global…
Read More
Re-Gifting
Prompted By Gifts
/ Stories
The Re-gift I first met Nicki while moving in across the way from her house. Our children were both ready to launch from the nest, and my family was realizing a long held dream of relocating into the mountains. We loved that the house was at the end of a dirt road with…
Read More
After 20 Minutes of Solo Estatic Dancing on My Living Room Floor
Prompted By Gifts
/ Stories
I have been given such gifts words choke in my throat as I reach, I stretch, bend and shake toward expressing the utter astonishment the deep wonder the overpowering gratitude at this moment I am awake
Read More
Baby Girl
Prompted By Grandparents & Grandchildren
/ Stories
Baby Girl Downstairs in the open loft apartment, I hear above me my daughter and her husband and my new grandbaby having one of those rapturous conversations that involve cooing and squeaks soft-voiced tender words and, sweet giggles and chuckles that wrap the love of the deep presence with and around this moment. That Alive, …
Read More
Grampa’s Hands
Prompted By Grandparents & Grandchildren
/ Stories
Grampa’s hands Grampa had sparkly brown eyes that simply shone when he told stories about his postal delivery days, or launched into a dramatic recitation of a favorite poem. He had a full head of hair that he kept neatly trimmed, and he dressed as dapper gentle men of his day did- never…
Read More
Eating History (Or No one Makes it Like Mom).
Prompted By What We Ate
/ Stories
My father grew up in a Irish-catholic family of 9, In the city of San Francisco, so his comfort food was usually canned- he would say “creamy” and I would say “mushy.” Later, I would barely recognize the diarrhea green spinach, the small skinless egg potatoes, the orangish spaghetti-Os and pungent Dinty-Moore stew that…
Read More
Co-creation
Prompted By Parenthood
/ Stories
Co-creation My children birthed me many times through our time together; we have labored over Our relationship Our independence Our interlocked destinies. We have adventured as “family,” fought as friends do, with our least selves held in honor at some core level, while our higher selves offered bridges of joy and…
Read More
Third Grade Move
Prompted By First Day of School
/ Stories
Third Grade Move We were late. I was horrified. The kind of fist-in-the-stomach tense that had tears trying to find their way out the burning rims of my eyes. I kept blinking, as we hurried toward the numbered door. Our new home’s construction was delayed and so this September day we had to cross…
Read More
Revising the Editor
Prompted By Something Wild
/ Stories
Revising the editor Limits, rules, restrictions, guidelines, walls, trigger my auto-response of arising fierce Kali-spirit that demands the shaking off of the yoke burdening my shoulders, spitting out the bit between my teeth, severing the ball and chain cutting into my ankle, and pulling the barbed wire from around my throat, to run wildly into…
Read More
The Edge of Aging
Prompted By Those We Miss
/ Stories
I keep stumbling over The edge of aging This wrinkled hand This creaking hinge This blank spot In the file cabinet That held the treasures And torments of a life A story That is still unfolding With a few missing Pieces But relentless ticking And the sounding chimes Of a heedless clock A blur…
Read More
Prom Night Memories
Prompted By Prom
/ Stories
My soulmate/boyfriend/future husband and father of my future children worked on me with words until I willingly released the traditions of high school to embrace the rebellion of making different choices. Despite the Gunny-sax hippy dress that was the uniform of proms in those days, that I had shopped with mom and best friend…
Read More
Moving Poem
Prompted By The Things I Keep
/ Stories
So I am thinking… I need to look at everything in this house that holds 31 years of marriage and two grown children’s archives, and ask this 51 year old almost single self what do you need? Which books of 5 full book cases do you have to have near you? Which wall hanging/photos…
Read More
Without a Word
Prompted By Pets
/ Stories
Without A Word Warm muzzle Cold nose Contented purr Protective bark Joyous wag Tempted twitch Raised eyebrow Leaned into leg Animal aromas Soft fur comfort Welcoming greeting Apprehensive parting Soundless song Intertwined with mine Constant companionship Chores of service Enigmatic puzzles Bewildered apology Comic curiosity Demandless conversation Provocation of patience Eager pleasing…
Read More
Turning Point
Prompted By Faith
/ Stories
“I don’t know what you have experienced to make you “know” but I haven’t, so don’t give me that crap!” My husband was expressing his dismay over my encouragement to keep his heart open to the love that surrounded him, and to remember that the door to his heart opens from the inside. He is…
Read More